Kimmy Kimmy Kimmy can’t you see…
The Queen Bee just turned thirty, and celebrated the big 3-0 in Charlotte,NC with….Young Joc? So is Young Joc supposed to be Kim’s new jawn? WTF ever. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised or anything, it’s not like she has something better to do. Really though, please put out an album, things haven’t been right since Hardcore. I see Kimmy is still struggling to cover her areola. *Sigh.
Shitty lacefront…*double sigh.
Word is she has butt implants. I couldn’t tell from the BET awards but she’s proudly poking that thang out in these pics. 
Very classy. Cheek impants? Now just cut that shyt out already will you?! C’mon now Kim, you should be leveling a law suit against your plastic surgeon. Lil’ Kim should break out into hives when she sees a damn doctors office, let alone having some damn surgery. Come into the light Kim, Come into the light!
She’s going to be wearing a surgical mask having someone push her around in a wheelchair at Barnes & Noble before you know it. (A la, you know you.) Looking like the crypt keeper and ish.
I blame Lil’ Cease… and Michael Jackson…and David Gest…and the crazy looking “Cat lady” 
Jocelyn Wildenstein…and Doctor 90210…and Diddy. (Just because)
Kim’s pics are from What’s Poppin They’ve got more pics, check out the rest.
Hips, Lips and Ass.
I think my mother is beautiful. I always have. I used to watch her get ready when I was a young girl. I’d watch her fashion her long beautiful braids. I’d be envious of her beautiful clear skin. I marveled at her shape; and was always entranced when she put on her ruby red lipstick. When she walked into a room she turned heads. She made men stumble over their words. And damn if they didn’t fall if love once they found out she had a brain to go with that beauty. I’d like to say that one day I thought I would grow up to be as pretty but that wasn’t the case. I didn’t believe that. I hated my skin, my hair my big ass, lips, and hips. You can chalk it up to “young girl teenage angst” now, but then I was on that emotional roller coaster called puberty. I was uncomfortable with myself and didn’t know how to manage. My mother was such a lady. I played sports, hung out with the boys, and very ghetto girls…I must admit. I didn’t understand why my friend’s dad was staring at me that way. I didn’t like it, and no jeans could hide my big ass and legs, nothing I did seemed to hide me enough. Even though I saw my mother as this beautiful thing, I still saw other girl’s svelte and skinny, women on TV glamorous and beautiful and felt like I couldn’t be farther from it. People telling me I looked like a young version of my aunt did not help. This particular aunt was on my father’s side. And honey she was wide as a damn double wide trailer and not attractive at all. I would damn near cry every time someone would say that to me. Then they would say no, she was gorgeous when she was young…blah blah blah. I don’t give a fuck about what she looked like then, all I heard was I looked like her and regardless of people trying to show me her pictures from better days, it just wasn’t happening.
I remember I was at my grandma’s house standing on the stairs and a different aunt passed by and then came back. She smiled, tilted her head and put her hand on her hip, “Kitty, are you bow legged?” “No!” I shouted… I actually didn’t know what that meant, but it sounded unattractive. I’m as bowlegged as the day is long. (Got that from my daddy.) She just laughed. “Yes you are girl” she said. I use to stare at my very curvaceous cousin, who by the way was not thin in the traditional sense; she was shaped like a coke bottle and every person she passed noticed. I wanted that. Or so I thought. How was it that I could love the curves of all these beautiful women and hate my own? Why were mine different? All I could think of was that I had lips I wanted to shrink. Weight I needed to lose. “I’m to petite to be shaped like this.” I would tell myself. Boys in school would tease me about my lips. Every big lipped joke you could come up with I heard them all. A “friend” of mine in high school would joke that my ass would walk behind me on its own. I would laugh, and act like I didn’t care. But inside I was in turmoil. I started to come into my own later in high school. My “I don’t give a damn what anyone thinks” attitude was my best friend and defense mechanism. I noticed how boys in my age group paid me no mind but men in the military and college made u-turns in their cars to talk to me as I walked to work. Confusing. Such a silly girl. So enveloped in her body she couldn’t see the forest for the trees. I was always smart, that much I knew. My mother raised me that way. Taught me a lady needed to be able to match wits with any and everyone. That I would have to work harder because I was a female, because I was petite (who would take this little girl seriously?), and mostly because I was black. She taught me to love being black, love black people, love black culture, and respect black history. Lessons I’ll carry with me until my time is done. How funny I could see the beauty in so many lovely black women but in myself only in spurts.
After I enlisted, I began to experiment. I changed the color, length and style of my hair like people changed their clothes. I dieted and exercised and lost about 9lbs in a week! No lie. I remember I went to the doctor for a mandatory physical. He asked me if I was taking any medication. I told him I was taking Metabolife. He looked at me completely shocked. Here I was, a little five feet somethin’ and one hundred and ten pounds and I don’t know why he’s shocked? Silly rabbit. He started to express the dangers of the drug I was taking. I stopped him, “I know, I saw it on the news” I replied. Now he’s even more dumbfounded. He asked me how much weight I wanted to lose. I say five more pounds. He rolls his eyes. He puts his hand over his face. I feel flush. “So you mean to tell me, you’re willing to risk your health for five pounds that you don’t even need to lose?” “What’s wrong with you?” “Do you think you’re fat?” “That’s crazy”” I teared up. He was right, his bedside manner left something to be desired but I couldn’t even protest. I was ashamed. But the damage had been done. I never told him or anyone else for that matter that I’d been getting dizzy for weeks. That I couldn’t take a hot shower without my heart beating through my chest and feeling faint. I was a lot thinner, the big booty I had been made fun of for much smaller, legs a little thinner. But my insecurity was still there covered with bravado. What’s funny is that I can’t tell you how much attention I got after I turned nineteen. I damn near lost my mind, and I loved every minute of it, and yet I still didn’t see. I was never anorexic; I loved macaroni and cheese too much.(And swine—see /”">”If Loving swine is wrong, I don’t wanna be right”) I was never bulimic; my cocky ass thought that was “stupid”, as if what I was doing was the right way. No matter how many boyfriends, lady friends, or family members told me I was beautiful; it didn’t matter. I need to believe it. Embrace myself and all of my wonderful features. I wasn’t just that “cool ass chick” people liked to hang around. I wasn’t just “a very smart girl” I was also beautiful. I am beautiful. And whole. A whole person with a strong mind, a big heart and an active spirit. Honestly, I don’t know what the hell I was thinking back then. I’m not conceited now by any stretch of the imagination but I think I’m extraordinary. I do. Not better than anyone else mind you. You should think you’re extraordinary too.(No one will if you don’t) But yes, I believe I am. I can’t tell you what turned me around. I really can’t. One day I woke up and saw myself with fresh eyes and I liked what I saw. Alas, I’m sad I took so long to come to that conclusion; maybe my hips would be a little bit bigger if I had seen the light sooner.(LOL) I can’t gain the weight back(I’ve tried), but oh well. Ump um…people out hear spending money to get what I got from birth? Bish, please. Funny the feature I was most ashamed of as a child is the one I love most now.(My most loved physical feature anyway) I was putting on lip gloss in the elevator and caught this dude staring at me, so I looked at him right in the eyes, he choked on his Cheeto’s. Poor boy. Not ready to tangle with a tiger I see. Wanna hear something terribly ironic? I look just like my mother. 
Hi Mom
One more thing, I saw a little girl yesterday (maybe ten or eleven), that’s what prompted me to write this. She was just as adorable as she could be. Her and her brother, (I later found out from her) were coming out of the mall. He called her ugly and ran laughing to meet their mother who was waiting for them in a car in front of the entrance. I watched her as she started to cry. I couldn’t help myself, so I walked over to her. I said to her, “You’re not ugly, you’re beautiful. You have beautiful eyes, and skin women are paying good money to get, and you’re going to grow into a gorgeous woman.” She wiped her tears but didn’t say anything. “You’re beautiful”, I repeated. She held her head down. She said, “No I’m not.” I said, “Yes you are, and one day you’re going to believe it”.
P.S—-I’m going to blog about why her sorry ass mother didn’t get out of her car or say something when she saw a strange woman talking to her daughter, later.
xoxo
Does your cellphone repel mosquitoes?
Phones That Repel Mosquitoes
(TREND HUNTER) A South Korean telecommunication company is offering its customers an innovative solution to rebel mosquitoes: using their mobile phones. For about $2.50, the company will allow you to play a sound wave file that rebels mosquitoes within a range of one meter, without being heard by human ears. The sound is similar to the buzz of a male mosquito, which turns the blood-sucking female mosquito off and drives her away. I hope the file makes it to the Internet soon so people can play it for free. Charging $2.50 per play (not per download) is simply outrageous. Even iTunes charges $0.99 per song download. And some of these songs can be very annoying. From Monday, subscribers to SK Telecom Company will be able to download a sound wave that humans cannot hear, but that annoys mosquitoes within a range of one metre (one yard). (news.bbc) Check out Trend Hunter$2.50 per play is fuckery but I”m interested in seeing if this works. Give it time, bullshit or not you”ll be able to get it online soon enough.On a different note, can I say how much I hate mosquitoes? There you are outside trying to get your jog on, and a fine honey passes you by as your swatting gnats and nasty mosquitoes away from your body. (NOTE: Do no wear watermelon lotion while outdoors near a body of water.) How about this one, you decide on a warm but breezy day to turn off the car A/C and roll your window down (not all the way, I can’t have my hair blowing too and fro) and when you get home you find you”ve got all sorts of random bites on your arms. Yardwork=given. And theres nothing worse than when you and you’re boo in the back yard getting it in, enjoying a family BBQ, you can”t fully enjoy the sex, the ribs…damn mosquitoes.\nBug bites are not sexy. Did you know that mosquitoes are the most deady animals on earth? Yes, with over 2 million deaths per year resulting from malaria infection caused by mosquito bites, they are the most deadly animal on earth.
You’re outta bounds, brotha–LMAO(Jay-Z,Will Smith w/Jonathan Rose)
Jay-Z and Will Smith on Friday night with Jonathan Rose. Dope.\n
Source:WSHH Don’t rock the boat, don’t tip the boat over!!! F@%ing hilarious. Hova is a cool dude.
I will smack somebody’s child.
I might go to jail, but I swear these some of these little monsters need to catch it. I went to the grocery store yesterday and as I am exiting the store and going to through the automatic doors;some little bastard (couldn’t have been older than 7 or 8 years old), comes walking through, playing a video game, and not paying attention to where he’’s walking at all. I say “excuse me”, hoping to get his attention because he’s going to walk right into my cart. He doesn’t look up. I stop moving the cart and say “hey, look up”. Do you know this little coin snatcher looks up, walks right into my cart, on purpose, laughs and says “you look”? Now let me tell you what I should have done. I “should” have calmly explained to him that he needs to respect his damn elders and pay attention to his surroundings. What if I were elderly? Or another child that he would have knocked over? Or how about the possibility that somebody would have snatched his bad ass? (Who would want him I don’t know) Now you’re probably thinking why didn’t you look for his mother? The though crossed my mind, after I cursed that little m@thf$&er out. I know it was wrong but I swear I wanted to knock his a$$ into next week. Surprisingly there were to Caucasian women coming in as I was going out who saw the whole thing, and as he was laughing (while I am giving it to him, mind you) they proceeded to yank him over to them and give him the business. I was so surprised I didn’t bother asking if that was their child, they didn’t look alike not that it matters. But I assume they must have come together otherwise they wouldn’t have touched him. Neither said anything to me, they just yelled at him. It’s funny in retrospect.
I’m not old bitch!
I went to Home depot, in search of a “grocery/shit that’’s too heavy to carry” cart. A lovely young lady (couldn’t have been over 17? 18?)comes up to me and asks if she can help me. I explain to her what I”m looking for. She replies, “you mean like the ones old people be carrying?” Umm..no. Umm..Yes. WTF? Maybe you don”t have to be geriatric to appreciate the convenience of not dislocating something trying to carry 6 bags into your apartment! Some of us live in high rises and I”m not making four trips to the 13th floor! How dare you make me feel embarrassed about needing some stainless steel assistance dammit. I’m only 100 pounds sue me! I want a cart bitch, a cart! After she drug me around through tools and lawn and garden, stopping and asking her co-workers along the way, they surmised that they didn’t have one so I went to Lowes but didn’t make it into the store. Instead I popped a u-turn went home and googled grocery cart. And low and behold where do you think the first damn match was from? 1.800wheelchair. God hates me. I ordered my muthafu$%ing cart… from drugstore.com though, I couldn’t bare buying some shyt from a wheelchair place.
The pigs are at it again
When is this shit gonna end? Some police officers think they are so far above other people. The world is not your m@$%fu&ing playground! We can’t let this kind of crap keep happening to us. Now, is she wrong for flipping him off? That’s a matter of opinion, probably would have been smarter to not let him see her do it, but IN NO damn way does that give him the right to drag her ass off a bus and slam her to the ground. I didn’t see this on CNN or Fox news this morning,smh.
A little Malcolm, Growth,Knowlege…and dare I say unity? Stop Self Hate.
This is an excerpt from Malcolm X’’s “A Black Man’’s History” speech given in December of 1962. “The thing that has made the so-called Negro in America fail, more than any other thing, is your, my, lack of knowledge concerning history. We know less about history than anything else. There are black people in America who have mastered the mathematical sciences, have become professors and experts in physics, are able to toss sputniks out there in the atmosphere, out in space. They are masters in that field. We have black men who have mastered the field of medicine, we have black men who have mastered other fields, but very seldom do we have black men in America who have mastered the knowledge of the history of the black man himself. we have among our people those who are experts in every field, but seldom can you find one among us who is an expert on the history of the black man. And because of his lack of knowledge concerning the history of the black man, no matter how much he excels in the other sciences, he’’s always confined, he’’s always relegated to the same low rung of the ladder that the dumbest of our people are relegated to. And all of this stems form his lack of knowledge concerning history. What made Dr. George Washington Carver a Negro scientist instead of a scientist? What made Paul Robeson a Negro actor instead of an actor? What made, or makes, Ralph Bunche a Negro statesman instead of a statesman? The only difference between Bunche and Carver and these others I just mentioned is they don”t know the history of the black man. Bunche is an expert, an international politician, but he doesn”t know himself, he doesn”t know the history of the black people. He can be sent all over the world by America to solve problems for America, or to solve problems for other nations, but he can”t solve problems for his own people in this country. Why? What is it that ties our people up in this way?” Source This is just as true today as it was then. You can”t really rise unless you know who you are. I think part of the issue concerning young black people in the world today in reference to the straight disrespect we so each other, ourselves and those that came before us in our thoughts and actions is a DIRECT result from not knowing who you are. It’’s bigger than slavery and no, it didn”t happen directly to you but you are who you are because of it, so miss me with that bullshit. How can black women and black men, grow in this world, be truly whole and successful human beings without knowing who they are? I happen to know I feel more pride knowing about my history, and knowing that history keeps me from involving myself in certain types of bullshit. Now, I”m no saint, and I”m not saying that by knowing your history you”ll be mistake free. What I am saying is that knowing about our painful, beautiful, rich, deep culture; will give you peace, pride and strength. Strength to know that because of the people who came before you; YOU CAN DO ANYTHING. Be anything. Have anything. If a black woman,while her black man was drug away from her into Vietnam, could raise her children (8 to13 of them at that) in a world full brutality and hate, making less wages than her white counterparts, while have nothing close to the resources of today; surely you can raise your children with dignity and without goddamn excuses. I”m sick of it. Government aid is just that, a damn aid, to ASSIST your ass. You lazy bitches that are just soaking it up and refusing to be examples of “actually productivity” for these children are a piece of the problem. All you teach your children is promiscuity, drug use, and how to be a victim. And then you have the nerve to be shocked when your daughter grows up to be the 2008 model of your sorry ass. And the same thing goes for these men our here slinging it all over damn town, you”re making these babies but you’re not teaching them a damn thing, except of course how to womanize, be unemployed and make jail bids look like summer camp. A good question is what can we do to convince a boyor girl who doesn’t know they’re father, to WANT to know about their grandfather, grandfathers father etc. I don’t know the answer to that. Let’s start a dialogue and see where it takes us. We get so defensive of stereotypes, myself included, but there is some truth in stereotypes. Truths I myself have been guilty of and then I turn around and want to wage war on the first person who points it out. I suppose it’s okay to be defensive, hell it’s only natural, as long as it’s followed by honest self analysis and growth. Shall we just give in to it? Look in the mirror. Are we just lace fronts, gold grills, baby daddies and mamas? All we care about is money, sports and sex? WTF? Give me a break you know we’re bigger than that. Now, obviously those negative examples don”t apply to everyone. There are plenty of progressive responsible, respectful, dutiful black men and women. But unfortunately that’s not what the world (and SOME OF US TOO) sees and believes we are. And whose responsibility is it to us out of the dark? To hold ourselves accountable? OURS. Yours and mine. And that doesn”t mean, being ”holier than thou”, because you can”t be –we all have flaws. But believe me, we”re in this together. If you don”t believe that you need to get your head out of your a–. We will swim or drown as one. Believe that. Black women stop bashing black men, you’re hurting us too. Black men stop bashing black women; you can only go as far as we can go together. It doesn’t matter if your mate is of a different ethnicity, love whoever you want! But we are still tied. All black men are not ‘this’ and all black women are not ‘that’. We can’t be pigeonholed that way, and we shouldn’t be perpetuating that in our community. We know that’s the way the world sees us, should we aid them in their destruction of us by acting a damn fool and bashing each other every chance we get? By all means have fun, talk shit, do you; just be aware that your actions, words and even thoughts have far reaching consequences. I’m trying to bring a balance with this blog. Some education, conversation, thought, art, foolishness, fuckery, love, sex and fun, all the things that make the world an interesting place to be. But I’m also conscious of what I say, what I mean, what I think about the world and what I feel and believe about black people. Understand that the wider the river between us grows (black men and women) the closer we are to drowning in it.
I can’t hate George Steinbrenner today
Being the geek I am I was in total awe of the historical presence at tonight?s MLB All Star game. I swear I had tears in my eyes during the pregame ceremony. Watching Yogi Bera, Hank Aaron, Willie ?M@thaf*&!? Mays (If you don?t know about Willie you need to get that in your life), Earl Weaver, Dave Winfield, Cal Ripken, Willie McCovey, and Bob Gibson? Good Lord, I could go on and on, there were 40 of them after all. It was beautiful, and I was completely moved and awestruck. Not to mention the Yankee stadium factor. How many great things took place there? The 1958 NFL title game? The 1938 Joe Louis-Max Schmeling fight. How many people have walked that field? Too many to count. I heard a story that Josh Gibson (Get him in your life too, dammit.), once smacked a ball over the wall into a train from Yankee stadium. Too bad the MLB didn?t count Negro league records; I?m willing to bet Josh Gibson would hold a home run record no one could pass. (It?s rumored he hit 800 home runs in his career.) Not to damn mention the fact that Yankee stadium is home to the greatest American sports team EVER. (Yeah I said it)Yankee stadium is baseballs statue of liberty. Often imitated never duplicated. Hi haters. There?s something about baseball, something you can?t get from other sports. Baseball occupied the hearts and minds of Americans black and white long before basketball and football. It lifted communities (emotionally speaking), feed families, and changed lives. From the Negro leagues, to the women?s leagues all the way to the major leagues of today, baseballs status as America?s pastime can?t be trifled with. Baseball is America, flaws and all. It hasn?t always been fair, hell it still isn?t. It hasn?t always been inviting. It bares the mark of segregation and the scares of a time not that far away. But in that past, in that history is love and warmth, hate, envy, determination, drama, strength and intrigue. Better than any damn soap opera a fleet of Hollywood writers can dream up. Racism, prostitution, prohibition, the mob, integration, the war, the recession. Come on people, you can?t make this shit up. Separatist and Inclusive? Yes it is. Wonderful? Yep.
I feel so good right now I?m not even going to talk shit about the Steinbrenner?s and there?s plenty to say. I love the salad bowl of culture and countries that can appear in a game on any given night. (We could use a few more African Americans, but I?ll delve into that another day.) Hell you might night a translator just to understand half the players on any given team. But in my opinion that?s just one more great thing about it. Now before ya?ll start e-mailing me talking shit, I?ll get into the overpaid athlete and the capitalism of professional sports later. But for now, just let me bask in my Willie Mays glow. Get ?em Willie. (He was clean as a damn whistle)
Anywho, Mariano Rivera is receiving a much deserved standing ovations as he enters the game right now so I need to go. Peep game: Mariano Rivera=the Greatest closer of all time. I plan to do an in-depth story on the Negro Leagues, so look out for that. Here?s a complete list of the largest assembly of MLB All Stars ever, google them!!!!
Whitey Ford, Al Kaline, Paul Molitor, Jim Palmer, Tony Perez, Gaylord Perry, Don Sutton, Billy Williams and Dick Williams,Luis Aparicio, Ernie Banks, Yogi Berra, Wade Boggs, George Brett, Lou Brock, Gary Carter, Orlando Cepeda, Bob Feller, Rollie Fingers, Bob Gibson, Goose Gossage, Tony Gwynn, Ferguson Jenkins, Harmon Killebrew, Ralph Kiner, Tommy Lasorda, Willie Mays, Willie McCovey, Eddie Murray, Phil Niekro, Robin Roberts, Brooks Robinson, Frank Robinson, Mike Schmidt, Bruce Sutter, Earl Weaver, Dave Winfield and Robin Yount
Nighty Night
xoxo
Alphacat as Barack Obama…priceless
Check out Alphacat’’s Youtube channel. (Look at his “sandwiches” video,I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes.) This guy is hilarious!
