Call me.
Respect the Pussy Wagon.
Well Damn.
So a good friend of mine who is raising his 15 year old daughter alone asked me to have a little talk with her about, you know…getting it in, hitting the sheets, making sweet love, staying away from boys who only want one thing, blah blah blah. He had clearly had enough of watching her gyrate around the house reciting the lyrics to “Bedrock”, “Invented Sex” or the song that makes me cringe from the first note ,my personal favorite “Say Ahhh”<—-You do know what they’re talking about righhhhht? And it ain’t champagne. Spitters are quitters. I didn’t say that mom.
Anyway, I had a very eye opening conversation with the little Miss, and needless to say shorty has had waaaaaay more “D” than me. Not sure how I feel about that….Proud that I’m not a whore? Or disturbed that a chick who is still in high school has already doubled my body count? (Both.)
I was actually beginning to question my own freakiness, but that didn’t last a second because as all good girls know, freak doth not equal whore; let the church say amen.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
Anywho, I spent the better part of two hours talking to her about sex, birth control, abstinence(that ship has sailed in case you hadn’t guessed), self respect, loving her body and understanding that a lady doesn’t equal a prude, but a whore certainly doesn’t equal a lady and sex doesn’t equal love. Did she listen? She seemed receptive but who knows. Once you start down some roads it takes a crash to wake that ass up. One thing is for sure my friend feels like the worst father ever for not having a woman in the house to be a role model for her. He feels like all that ass he chases used to chase is coming back ‘daughter karma’ style. (Sidenote: he did “make” her at the age of 17, I’m sure that’s adding to his anxiety, her mother was 16 when she gave birth. Fast ass kids.) I don’t have children so that’s as far as I’m prepared to go on this one, I’m not sure what to tell him to be honest. Parents? Have advice for my boy, shoot me an email, he needs it. Trust me.
He could do what my mom did to me. Live. Birthing.Videos.———–>Scarred. For. Life.
(What an ironic post to go with the painting in the previous one huh? Completely accidental. I assure you.)
Ahhh Well.
Quick Update: I haven’t been able to restore all my comments or recover my art postings (or fix the random quotation marks, popping up in the ones I did recover)re: The Great Database collapse of 08′, so I’ll be re-posting a few of my pieces soon. (With new ones coming shortly thereafter.) I’ll also be taking some higher quality pictures as well so you can get a real feel for the colors. Thanks to Eric for his purchase last week of a print of my original piece below! Start your New Year off right 
Make Purple
Thank you for your e-mails! It’s a great feeling to know that people are looking for my work 
Dump that 09′ Dead Weight!
Keeps using your car and returning it with a broken window? or with the words “dirty whore” keyed into the side? with an empty gas tank?
Got drunk on NYE and drunk dialed your parents to tell them how “good” they were gonna take care of you when you got home?
Crushed the homie last week a couple years ago and you found out via chain text message that went to your whole crew?
Screamed at you last week for eating the last pop tart while clipping their toes on that blanket your Grandma made for you by hand right before she died?
Buttonhead has just the thing!
Avoid catching a case because of a “miscommunication” in the parking lot at Chili’s. Just pick up one of these handy ‘Breakup Cards’ and post a copy on facebook, mail it to your ex-boo.
The card gives you a variety of options for your break up pleasure. Sorry your breaking up? Nahhhhh. Well say so!
[ General Sentiment ]
I am sorry things didn’t work out.
(circle one)
True
False
Sex was garbage? Tell they’re free loading ass that too!
[ In the Bedroom ]
The Sex was
x Outstanding
x Good
x Adequate
x Poor
x Non-Existent
Be the bigger person, select a mature statement for the options below:
[ Closing wishes ]
(check all that apply)
x Have a nice life.
x I wish you all the best.
x It’s not you, it’s me.
x Kiss my ass. < ================= Hey, it’s just a suggestion.
x You are lousy in bed.
x I hate your mother.
Make sure when you put their stuff on the curb you cover it with a tarp, wouldn’t want it to get rained on, then you’ll may end up on Judge Joe Brown.
Get more details on the breakup card, here. Check out other cool stuff available from Buttonhead, here.
I’ve got my eye on that “Crafty Bitch” button…
No Bullsh**
I know, I know. I’ve been missing in action but I’ve finally got it all under control! No more busllsh**tn’, lets start this week off with a little link love, shall we?
Literary flicks, for the freaks For the sexually mature. Now, don’t get all carried away with these stories and use that as an excuse to watch porn at work. If your horny ass can’t wait until you get home you deserve to lose your job.
Dope New site {New to me that is.}: Harlem Loves
I don’t know who to blame for this fuckery. VH1? 106 & Park?
Joe Francis aka Mr. “Don’t leave your daughter around me, I’ll put her titties on tape” no likey Gawker. Click the link to read his e-mailed threat.
Charlie Sheen’s backsliding. Where have I seen that mugshot before???? Oh that’s right.
A South Korean consortium has been awarded a contract to build four nuclear power plants in the United Arab Emirates, worth some $40bn (£25bn).
A suicide blast targeting a Shiite procession killed 25 in Islamabad Pakistan Monday.
23-year-old Nigerian terror suspect, Farouk Abdulmutallab has been released from the hospital. Did you hear that his father tried to warn the US about him months ago? What? Our government was late to the party again? Shocker.
Scientists believe it may be possible to combat malaria by interfering with the sex lives of the mosquitoes which spread the disease. In case you didn’t know, malaria kills more and faster than AIDS.
Even though I’ve been completely indecisive about where I’ll be moving next year and previously crossed New York off the list as a non-contender; I’m happy to see that NYC is on track, for the second time in three years, to have
the fewest number of homicides in a 12-month period since 1962. It’s still high, I know. But every bit of progress helps. Now if they could just tackle the cost of living, unemployment, gentrification, Hugo the homeless guy who invaded my personal space and blew on my sandwich-which of course I gave him (After I cursed him out politely told him how rude he was) and the NYPD we’d really be getting somewhere. Even with all that, I love New York. I put it back on my list last week after some rigorous peer pressure.
Sharing is Caring.
Cutting off my Straight Jacket
To say that I have been neglecting my blog, would be the understatment of the year, but saying that I’ve been incredibly busy would be too. Lord knows I miss blogging though, unfortunatly my crazy life has relagated me to life as a spectator these past few months. I barely have time to twitter.
I plan to make the time to post as soon as I get more settled. I have so many topics I’d like to get into-Obama’s plan for healthcare reform, hilarious recaps of dates that I’ve been on since I relocated, Glenn Beck being a total f**king moron, and chicks lining up to drop Lil’ Wayne’s babies (I don’t get it); but alas, I’m drowning in a sea of work, prior engagements and other crappy responsibilities. I haven’t put paint brush to canvas in three months! 
No worries though, I’m determined to shovel myself out of this hole and resume my otherwise awesome life! Don’t give up on me!
P.S- Virginia’s for Lovers? Really? Let’s just say I’m testing that theory…when I have time, that is.
xoxo
Move and Shake, weekend edition.
Lucheon for Religious freedom and tolerance, check.
Gallery opening, check.
Small business symposium, check.
Three dates with three very different candidates, check, check and check.
Don’t hate. Diversify.
He is Legend.
Michael Joseph Jackson (August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009), aka the King of Pop, aka the greatest entertainer ever –lost his life today at the age of 50.
I hope that everyone can look past the oddities of Micheal’s life, plastic surgery, rumors, and allegations (he was acquitted after all) and remember Micheal for the gentle, kind, humanitarian he was. By all accounts he was a man who loved people and was extremely giving.
You can see Michael’s stamp on most of today’s popular R & B artists, and his impact is also felt across musical genres. And let’s not forget the dancing. He left audiences in awe with his movements, persona and sense of style. This loss is felt world wide, and there is no star more revered around the world than Michael, and rightfully so.
A single glittery glove, a red leather jacket, the moonwalk…no one’s name resonates at the very mention of these things except Michael Jackson.
His career spanned some forty years, twice as long as Elvis Presleys career and FAR more accomplished, authentic and impressive.
Rest in Peace to the King of Pop, Michael Jackson, your fans will never forget you. I pray that you have found the peace you weren’t allowed to have in life.
Thriller-> Best music video EVER.
A Way With Words…
Somebody call Oveous and tell him I think we should…
talk.
Did he just call you a N***er to your face?
Technically,no but I don’t feel like it’s too much of a leap,considering this imagery. So, we have a black president and everyone is holding hands and singing “Kum Ba Yah”. You probably thought it was all love, right? Well, clearly the NY Post thinks otherwise. I’d go there but I’m exhausted.
Wake up.
